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Written and recorded simultaneously with The Two-Headed Thing!!, this record represents the more countrified and generally lighter side of the Militia. A few poignant tunes that might just get under your skin as well.

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released November 16, 2015

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Pitchfork Militia Palenville, New York

A mishmash of rock, blues, country and punk we call Apocabilly. It's fun, it's fast, it's loud!

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Track Name: Don't Make Me
Don’t make me sad don’t make me blue, don’t make me oh don’t make me ooh, don’t make me take you across my knee cuz this time I’ll do it, don’t make me mad, don’t make me do it. Don’t make me cry don’t make me try, don’t make me take to tellin’ lies, don’t make me jump from this high cuz I swear I’ll do it, don’t let me die, don’t let me do it. Don’t make me run don’t make me hide, don’t make me ask if we’re on the same side, don’t make me look the other way cuz I’ll never look back, if you’ll just let me go, I’ll never come back. I’m so sad we have to part, there’s chains around my heart, there’s clouds around my head whispering all the things you said. Some things can’t be replaced, like the tears upon my face, soon as the lightning fades, the darkness takes it’s place.
Track Name: Hole in the Wall
I caught a glimpse of you as you came into view, I was on my coffee break and I always look for you. I never take a picture, I’ve never told a soul, that in this little closet, I drilled a little hole. Sometimes you never show, I guess you didn’t have to go, but I kneel there waiting, you know I love you so. I don’t always see your face, but you’re always full of grace, I did not know your underthings had so much lace, and it hurts my neck as I kneel there on my knees, sometimes I don’t always like what my eyeballs see, cuz sometimes it’s Martha from the shipping department, I’m surprised the toilet don’t break free. But for all my efforts and all of my pain, sometimes it’s not in vain, sometimes I receive my holy reward when it’s break time and see you heading for the toilet on your break, the same break that I take, I run for the closet door, oh please don’t let me be late, I just need to see heaven, the light shining down from God, it’s so damn beautiful, oh please, don’t let me get caught.
Track Name: Drop the Bomb
me that girl, when everything’s done and it all goes boom, it’ll be me and that girl alone in our room. And you can tell that girl if she don’t calm down, I’m gonna drop the bomb and blow up the whole town, and tell that woman if she keeps cryin’ gonna blow it all up and I ain’t lyin’,tell that girl if don’t stop frettin’ a big ol’ boom is all she’ll be gettin’, and tell my woman to stop all the yellin’ cuz the fuse is lit yeah baby that’s what you’re smellin’. Tell that girl if she don’t come home, she better get used to livin’ alone, cuz I’ll drop the bomb and everything’ll be gone...except that big ol’ pile of my shit that she threw out on the lawn! Oh please oh please won’t you please come hom,e there ain’t no bomb that was just my cellphone, I was just jokin’ ain’t gonna blow nothin’ up, so stop bein’ crazy baby enough is enough! And you can tell my woman if she’ll stop bein’ shitty, I could use a squeeze on them little bitty titties, and tell my woman if she’ll stop all that naggin’ I could use me a piece of that ass that she’s waggin’, tell my woman to hold out her hands stick out her tongue and take off her pants, and tell my woman if she shows me her butt...I’ll ride that thing all the way to Tuscon I’m tellin’ you what!
Track Name: Turn Around
Now if it bothers you like it bothers me when you watch the news on your color TV, one channel says “A” the other channel says “B” the contradictions are confusin’ me. Well you know you can’t stop the world from goin’ ‘round so just turn around and pull you pants down. Now how ‘bout all them planes flyin’ by? Leavin’ them chemtrails in the sky. Droppin’ dumbness on our heads, well at least that’s what my facebook said. Yeah turn around and let ‘em see you rump, turn around and show ‘em both hiney humps, there ain’t no reason why you should frown just turn around and pull your pants down. Now you lost your shitty job cuz ya done got fired, and you’re damn sick and tired of felling sick and tired, and your ol’ lady’s after you to mow the lawn, even though she knows the game is on. Yeah, turn around and pull your pants down, feel the air as you swing it around, don’t have a care just let it hang bare, just turn around and pull your pants down.
Track Name: My Dog Joe
I got a dog, his name is Joe, his name is Joe now don’t you know he’s a good dog, he’s a pretty good dog. My dog Joe he runs around, when he sees a squirrel he makes a barkin’ sound, he’s a barkin’ dog, he’s a pretty good dog. Yeah I got a dog, his name is Joe, I call him holy mokey man hold the door! His name is Joe, I call him big ol’ Ho Chi Mihn, he’s a pretty good dog. My dog Joe he runs all day, all my doggie wants to do is run around and play, he’s a runnin’ dog, he’s a pretty good dog. Yeah I got a dog, his name is Joe, I call him holy mokey man hold the door! His name is Joe, I call him big ol’ Yusef Lateef, he’s a pretty good dog. My dog Joe, he’s black and white, he’s a little bit black and a little bit white, he’s a black and white dog, he’s a pretty good dog. Yeah I got a dog, his name is Joe, I call him holy mokey man hold the door! His name is Joe, I call him big ol’ Joe DiMaggio, he’s a pretty good dog. I like dogs and I like you, and you like my dog and he likes you too, he can be your dog, he’s a pretty good dog. Now I like dogs and I like you, and you like me and I like you too, I will be your dog, I’m a real good dog.
Track Name: Country Boy
I’m a cunt, I’m a cunt, I’m a country boy, that’s all I’ll ever be. I’m a real I’m a real american, I live in the land of the free. I’m a real, I’m a real, I’m a real nice guy if you don’t go messin’ with me. I love to party and I love to fuck and I just might be lookin’ to fuck you up yeah. I’m a punk, I’m a punk, I’m a punk, I’m a punkin pie eatin’ man. I’m an ass, I’m an ass, yeah I’m an ass, I’m an aspiring musician. Got a dick, got a dick, yeah I got a dick, got a dictionary, I can look up a word. Give you a shove, just a shove, just a little bitty shovel, so you can pick up your turds. I’m drinkin’ beer, drivin’ my truck, it’s hot out here, don’t give a fuck, I got a hat, I’m wearin’ boots, I got a gun, just for fun, out in the sun, I’ll make you run, cuz I like to shoot! Broome Handel!
Track Name: A Party
Now I know sometimes I act crazy, and my eyes they look insane, but I get so wound up around people and I took that damned cocaine, and I know I kinda scared the children, but I still think they had fun, and you shoulda seen all their little faces when I got their grandmother to run. I know my voice got a little loud, but you’d still have to admit, even if you don’t approve of all the things we did, it was sure as hell some funny shit, and i hope you will forgive me, I was only having a good time, and we all laughed until it hurt, so I think we all did fine. I know you didn’t like it when we turned you snowmobile upside down in the street, and showed the kids how to shoot rocks off the treads, them rocks would go about a thousand feet, and Bob nearly knocked himself out, when he bumped into the burnin’ grill, and he jumped when he felt the heta on his ass, hit his head on the windowsill. I know there was too many people, and I know some things got took, next time I’ll try to remember not to post the address on facebook, at midnight we all shot our guns in the air, the sound was really fuckin’ wild, and the neighbors musta thought a war had been declared, you could hear it for fifteen miles. And James nearly burned the house down but little Eddie noticed the flames, and we used the hose to put the porch out and we scolded little James, all in all it was a great party, and nobody got hurt, except for John who got sunburned as he lay passed out in the dirt.
Track Name: Fine Thin Wire
Balancing on a fine thin wire, got a guitar in my hands and my pants on fire, got a woman outside and another in bed, some folks admire me. Smokin’ dope and drinkin’ booze, I don’t have a care for what’s on the news, something'll get don’t matter what you choose, you pay your dues. Puttin’ roll roofing on my trailer lid, tryin’ to keep an eye on all the little kids, I know my ol’ lady’d be sore if one of ‘em went missin’. Get in my car I don’t go far to hear the local gossip at the corner bar, who got pregnant, and who so and so’s been kissin’. I don’t care if I look like a retard, I still go camping right there in my back yard, lookin’ like an idiot ain’t too hard to do if you try hard. Even hung over I still get up ten minutes before sunrise cuz I don’t wanna miss the nicest sunrise you ever see, that shit’s to die for.
Track Name: Pusbag
I got a little bag of pus on the end of my finger...reminding me of us and how our love did not linger...and how you slammed my finger in the door, when I told you I don’t love you no more. Ow ow ow ooh the pain, and it’s starting to rain, where I used to have a wedding band now I got this pusbag on the tip of my hand. You didn’t have to slam my hand in the door, you didn’t have to blacken my eye, you didn’t have to open up the ‘fridgerator door and throw that punkin pie, you didn’t have to break my favorite guitar, you didn’t have to key my car, you didn’t have to throw my boots out in the rain, I didn’t know that you could throw that far, cuz now I’m limpin’ and I’m squintin’ and I’m thinking of us, and I’m looking at my finger and that little bag of pus, and it’s sore if I touch it and it’s sore if I bump it and it makes me really want to cuss. I’m cussin’ your name, yeah I’m cussin’ you. I’m cussin’ you every mornin’, I’m cussin’ the state you were born in, I’m cussin’ everything you do. Ow ow ow ooh...
Track Name: Old Timey Flair
And the young people all eat goji berries, gluten free flax seed and no more dairy, they trim their beards to not look too hairy and wear Buddy Holly glasses, they don’t skip too many classes, the girls have such fine asses, oh man. Drink expensive coffee and argue for choice, strum acoustic guitar and sing in my best Bob Dylan voice, dress pre-war in some thrift store corduroys and try to score some tattooed lasses in my Buddy Holly glasses, I can see the lightning flashes, oh man. Tune up your banjo and trim your beard, tell me how you only drink microbrewed beer, and how your suspenders are “part of your gear” and put some poofy stuff in your hair, make it look like you didn’t care, you just woke up and it was all just there, you got that ol’ timey flair.
Track Name: Ten or Twelve
It seems like there’s ten or twelve of me inside of me at any one given time, each yellin’ something different, it’s so hard to keep ‘em all in line. I gotta keep one of me from reaching for the bottle and one of me from reaching for a gun, and the one who tells the end of the movie, spoiling it for everyone. I gotta keep one of me from reaching for a needle, and one of me from reaching for a knife, gotta keep one of me from speeding, keep another from looking at another man’s wife. I got one who likes to dig in the garden and one of me who likes to dream, I got one of me who’s really mellow, and one of me that wants to scream, I got one of me who’s in love with you, and one of me that wants to fight, I got one who’s addicted to coffee...and none of us can sleep through the night! It’s kinda like a romance novel except there ain’t no pretty girl, and none of us looks like a model, and no one’s been around the world. If you wanna live with me, I’m a real nice buncha guys, except for the one who gets madder’n hell and looks at you with crazy eyes. I’m just a simple man with a complex personality, I really am and I apologize for any unpleasantries.
Track Name: Your Voice
Baby when you say your prayers, don’t forget to mention me, don’t forget to say my name and put in a good word for me, cuz you’ve got a special line to heaven, your voice will always be heard. So if you can remember me when you’re on your knees, please put in a good word. Won’t you please put in a good word for me, mention my name when you say your prayers, I seem to have worn out my welcome and there ain’t no connection there. I’ve asked so much, I can’t ask no more. I think the man upstairs, well, he might be getting sore, but you’ve got a special line to heaven, your voice will always be heard. So if you can just remember me when you’re on your knees, please put in a good word. Call to the lord but he can’t hear me. My eyes are open but I can’t see. Open my mouth, no words are spoken. The promises have all been broken. All around me people dyin’, fathers shaken and children cryin’. Ask the Lord about salvation and to lead me not into temptation, but you’ve got a special line to heaven, your voice will always be heard. So if you can remember me when you’re down on your knees, please put in a good word.
Track Name: Broken Hearts
You find your eyes will not stay dry, Orion’s Belt lights up the sky, line all your mistakes up in a line. Midnight stars in the sky they shine, these midnight times are a lonely time, let your broken heart sing to mine. Let your broken heart sing to mine, together all the night they can pine. The clouds in the sky like your clouded memory, breaking each thing into pieces. They keep on blowin’ by like a severed artery, until one day when everything ceases. Let your broken heart sing to mine, together all the night they can pine, pine away. Park your tombstone under a shady tree, pull up a seat, we might be while. The love shines from your eyes like honey from the hive, they say it’s the little things that make it worthwhile. Let your broken heart sing to mine, together all the night they can pine. Let your broken heart sing to mine, together all the night they can pine, pine away.